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View Full Version : When an invert pet dies.........



Phil Hall
11-06-2007, 03:50 AM
I've been in the hobby on and off for a long time , probably 20 years + .
Firstly just Lizards , the odd snake and a scraggy old Red knee back in the 80's. One thing I have never got over is when one of my 'pets' kick the bucket.
Usually my family or friends show a little concern , but when it involves an invert, they are usually amazed that I seem saddened. I guess I am perceived as a fairly regular geezer , I used to box, teach some kickboxing, shaved head and the odd tattoo, like a few pints, a bit of football . Not really coming across as a 'New man ' - whatever that description actually means...
Yesterday I learnt that my female Centralis mantis had died , some weeks earlier, during the process of laying an ooth. I had reared her from another ooth last year. I guess her time had come. I actually gave her away about 6 weeks ago with a mature male to someone who bought a collection of inverts from me. I suppose I was hoping she could mate and perhaps reproduce before dying. The mating happened and I was happy that the new owner was successful in doing what I couldn't achieve. The death part was no-ones fault, she had laid 3 infertile ooths previously and it is a lottery as to how many more they can lay.
Anyway when I learnt of her demise I was saddened. I told my wife and kids - big mistake - :wall:
They seemed uninterested and even amused that I was upset about this.
I'm not angry with them, but moreso with myself. Ok I didn't shed any tears but I was not a happy chap for a few hours.
I dread to think what my work colleagues or pub buddies would make of this 'weakness' . {D
Have any of you had similar experieces ?
I dread to think how I will feel when my hopefully long living female T's shift their mortal coil.......:eek:


Cheers



Phil

problemchildx
11-06-2007, 04:01 AM
Sorry to hear about your loss Phil, and also about your family not caring. When my versicolor sling died, I felt kind of sad about it for at least a few days. Not crying or anything like you mentioned but those random times I would have a memory of holding it and then thinking, "I miss that invertebrate".

Life goes on though.

PS: Is an ooth a baby mantis? :?

Phil Hall
11-06-2007, 04:10 AM
Thanks mate ! Yes life goes on , an ooth is the egg produced by mantids.
I suppose it is hard for those not interested in T's or other inverts to give a damn , but in future I won't bother them with any information I thought might be of use to them.

Cheers


Phil

Truff135
11-06-2007, 08:46 AM
You gotta remember that there are very few of us (in proportion to the rest of the world) that find creepy-crawly things cute. I, for one, would be devastated if my little Navi (g.aureostriata) were to die. I cried for like two days when my rat died a couple months back. Most people think that "pets" can only refer to a cat or dog or bird. So when people like us that have a deep attachment to our pets, no matter what species/genus etc, have a pet pass away, it really bothers us. But to the other 80% of people out there, it's just one less pest in their mind. I mean, most people wouldn't think twice to squish a spider. I, on the other hand, try to save them whenever I see them. Yes, even at work, and they all thought I was a nutcase. Anyhow, I wouldn't be ashamed at all of being upset about the loss of a pet. A pet is a pet no matter how "cute" or "cuddly" it is. My condolences to you, friend.
~Alexis :)

Phil Hall
11-06-2007, 09:21 AM
Thanks Alexis !

:worship:

The_Thunderer
11-06-2007, 10:23 AM
I'm with ya there... My wife wouldn't/doesn't share my feelings for the pets that I have. I know that they're not "inverts" but...

A few months ago, a HORRIBLE accident occurred that killed about 12 of my snakes. We used to live in a different house, here on the "campus" where we live. At that house, I had 12 gorgeous snakes... all of them growing, thriving and looking great! After we moved, I was given permission to keep them there at the house because we were moving to a smaller apartment. This was great because I would have my own "snake room" where my wife wouldn't have to go.

Well, here in the suburbia of Phoenix, it gets over 100 degrees in summer and, after checking in on them and feeding/watering/maintaining them one Sunday afternoon, I guess the A/C shorted out. When I checked on them on that following Tuesday (they eat once a week), they were all gone. I guess the saddest thing about the whole mess was the fact that I knew they died horribly. The ONLY survivors were a local caught California King and a lavender corn that had somehow escaped which I found 3 months later in my brother's dorm (he lived down the hall from my old house). Needless to say, I was devastated. I loved them all, but when I had to dispose of the body of my 5.5' Taiwan beauty snake, I really lost it.

My wife and kids gave me my space, but I did hear my son say, "they were JUST snakes". I didn't respond because he didn't understand... but I hope to teach him someday. Begrudgingly, my wife let me get 4 snakes, but it was - again - begrudgingly. They're NOT in that old house, but right here where I can ALWAYS see them and make sure they're okay.

Sooo, getting attached to these "pets"... I completely understand and sympathize.

Fred

Phil Hall
11-06-2007, 10:48 AM
So sorry to hear that Fred , my condolences. I hope to teach my 9 year old son the ways of the reptile/invert but I think the DS lite/PSP/Wii will prevail unfortunately.The 16 year old son and my wife are past help.......:confused:

PhormictopusMan
11-06-2007, 10:55 AM
Phil, I can definately sympathize. When my wife and I got married and moved to a new place I had things disorganized for awhile. My walk-in closet/spider-room was now just a tiny closet that had lots of clutter. One of our five cats climbed up on the spider table (she was only curious) and knocked over an enclosure which fell face down. When I saw it, I had thought that it was one of my vacant enclosures and did not think much about it. When I was finaly organized and doing an inventory I realized that it was in fact my GBB enclosure. I turned it back over and she was dead, I am assuming from suffocation. I felt so horrible about it. The enclosure is till in the garage--I don't even want to look at it (she is still inside). I only just recently acquired another GBB and this was after two and a half years.

Sorry for your loss.

--Chris

omni
11-06-2007, 11:10 AM
I would be just as upset a snake or T's dying as I would a cat or dog. They live as long or longer than many mammals and other pets. Just because they are small, they still have the spark of life that all living things have. They don't have a 'mind' but I do feel they have individual personalities. I'm not so sad tho when a rodent or fish goes(but still feel for them). After a couple years with any pet it becomes part of your life. You care and worry about them, and they are totally dependant on you for their existence. I don't think any herp or invert is just a "disposable pet".

Truff135
11-06-2007, 11:41 AM
Yeah my rat dying totally broke me up. She was almost 4 years old so she lived a long, happy life, but regardless I still couldn't help feeling that I should have done something more. It was so heartbreaking because I actually watched her for about an hour as she passed away. I just felt like if I didn't watch though, she'd feel like I had abandoned her. It was soooo horrible. My first rat had gotten a mammary tumor but otherwise was healthy. Sadly though, it got to the point where she couldn't walk anymore so I had to put her down. That was such a tough decision to make, I just couldn't afford the $300 to have the tumor removed. I've cried when I've lost fish. I'm just a weeping fool. Take care all!

Phil Hall
11-06-2007, 11:54 AM
I'm just a weeping fool. Take care all!

I'll join ya on that weeping stool !


:o

IdahoBiteyThing
11-06-2007, 12:12 PM
Me too! I'm so bad I still miss my palm tree that someone stole off my patio. I had it for 24 years. And I even tell my roaches, "thanks roach" before they provide crunchy goodness for a hungry t. I however felt no remorse for killing the wasp that stung me the other day. hmmm

Truff135
11-06-2007, 12:28 PM
Well I'll probably get yelled at for saying this, but...I like just about every creature except for certain insects. I don't like the things that have more than 8 legs (millipedes, centipedes, etc), or anything that crunches like a beetle. They just kinda gross me out for some reason. I'm bad, I know :(
LOL I guess everyone has a certain thing they don't like probably.

Travis K
11-06-2007, 01:33 PM
I hear you!

I have a very large Female B. Smithi, and when her day comes i will be truely sad about it.:(

Brian S
11-06-2007, 01:37 PM
Well I'll probably get yelled at for saying this, but...I like just about every creature except for certain insects. I don't like the things that have more than 8 legs (millipedes, centipedes, etc), or anything that crunches like a beetle. They just kinda gross me out for some reason. I'm bad, I know :(
LOL I guess everyone has a certain thing they don't like probably.

Do you like ticks? If so, get a hold of me next Summer. I can help you out LOLOL:D

Truff135
11-06-2007, 01:38 PM
*Screams like little girl* um...that would be a polite "heck no!" :eek:
LOL but it's the thought that counts, right?

Brian S
11-06-2007, 01:43 PM
*Screams like little girl* um...that would be a polite "heck no!" :eek:
LOL but it's the thought that counts, right?

But of course! And I was thinking of you. If Ohio doesnt have enuff ticks I could send a quart jar of our good ole strong Missouri ticks your way. Not even a nuclear war can kill them off{D

Truff135
11-06-2007, 01:46 PM
But of course! And I was thinking of you. If Ohio doesnt have enuff ticks I could send a quart jar of our good ole strong Missouri ticks your way. Not even a nuclear war can kill them off{D

Jar of Ticks, I'd like you to meet the Scioto River! :wicked:

Corranthe
11-06-2007, 01:49 PM
I can imagine how you feel. All of my Ts are slings or juvies and doing well. But I know how sad I will be someday. And it is hard for me not to get mad at my roommate when she rolls here eyes and looks at me with disdain if I talk about them. The other day I was worried about one of my little avics that hadnít eaten in two weeks and my roommate saw the concerned look at my face and asked me what was wrong. She practically chastised me when I told her I was concerned about my T not eating. She seems to think itís funny to make comments about smacking them with newspapers or flushing them down toilets. She would never actually do this, but for me it feels just as bad as if she was talking about kicking a puppy.

Brian S
11-06-2007, 01:59 PM
Jar of Ticks, I'd like you to meet the Scioto River! :wicked:

:eek:
Thats no way to treat your new "babies":shame:

You're supposed to turn loose one pint jar in the house and the rest in your yard or a neighbor's yard (preferably one you dont like) LMAO:D

problemchildx
11-06-2007, 05:30 PM
I know what you mean Alexis, other people that have owned rats will know how sad it is when they die. Especially because they can get sick and die from just about anything.

Mina
11-06-2007, 07:02 PM
There is nothing wrong with caring enough for any animal to miss it when it dies, just as there is nothing wrong with missing any living thing.
We have a house full of animals, 3 dogs, 5 cats, 10 parrots, a chinchilla, a rabbit, 5 snakes, a tortoise, newts, and a ton of T's. I feel horrible if any of them die.
There is nothing wrong with caring enough for another living thing to grieve, I think the people who can look at any death and not care are the strange ones.

LittleGiRLy
11-06-2007, 10:42 PM
So sorry to hear that Fred , my condolences. I hope to teach my 9 year old son the ways of the reptile/invert but I think the DS lite/PSP/Wii will prevail unfortunately.The 16 year old son and my wife are past help.......:confused:

Sorry for your loss, and that the others don't seem to understand... but don't give up on them so easily. After 4 years my boyfriend finally got me to love them crazy looking animals... spines or no spines :p

Arborealis
11-08-2007, 02:40 AM
I can imagine how you feel. All of my Ts are slings or juvies and doing well. But I know how sad I will be someday. And it is hard for me not to get mad at my roommate when she rolls here eyes and looks at me with disdain if I talk about them. The other day I was worried about one of my little avics that hadnít eaten in two weeks and my roommate saw the concerned look at my face and asked me what was wrong. She practically chastised me when I told her I was concerned about my T not eating. She seems to think itís funny to make comments about smacking them with newspapers or flushing them down toilets. She would never actually do this, but for me it feels just as bad as if she was talking about kicking a puppy.

I know what you mean. One of my roommates also makes comments about "squishing" my spider. I've only had her for a short time but considering she's only about two years old (and they live over 20 years) I know I'll be very upset when she goes. I'm already attatched to her and worry about her comfort.

mrwomp
11-08-2007, 09:51 AM
yea losing a pet sucks i recently lost my hedgehog and felt like shxt for a long bit

i don't think it matters what kind of creature it is if you have something long enough you will feel for it.

sorry to hear how your family reacted but mine would do the same thing if my rosea died

Aragorn
11-08-2007, 10:31 AM
Usually,when an invert die I don't get as upset as when my reptiles die, but I do feel a little sadden my their demise. Recently, my mature male G. rosea tried to molt after the ultimate molt and never made it. He died lying on his back. I was a bit shocked, but nothing too bad.;)

butch4skin
11-08-2007, 01:44 PM
Something is definintely wrong with feeling remorse for a dead rat. Disgusting creatures.

Truff135
11-08-2007, 02:42 PM
Something is definintely wrong with feeling remorse for a dead rat. Disgusting creatures.

ROFL, til you've had one travel around with you on your shoulder or fall asleep on the couch with you, you'll have a hard time understanding. Pet rats aren't "disgusting" like malformed sewer rats, they're really very clean and sweet. :D
It's ok though Butch, I guess I'll still like you anyway {D

Brian S
11-08-2007, 02:57 PM
Pet rats aren't "disgusting" like malformed sewer rats, they're really very clean and sweet. :D
It's ok though Butch, I guess I'll still like you anyway {D
Pet ticks arent disgusting either! Especially the ones you carry around on you for a few weeks until they "plump up" LMAO!!!{D {D :D :D :wicked: :wicked:

Truff135
11-08-2007, 04:36 PM
Gee, as much as you love them, are you sure you don't want to keep them, I mean it would be soooooo difficult for me to pass up on a Jar of Otherworldly Nuclear-Proof Missouri Ticks but I think I can suffer through. ;)

problemchildx
11-08-2007, 05:46 PM
Yeah go buy a pet rat and then come say that LOL

Truff135
11-08-2007, 05:54 PM
Yeah go buy a pet rat and then come say that LOL

Me or Butch? I have had 3 rats so I know how wonderful they are :D

RoachGirlRen
11-08-2007, 07:14 PM
I get upset when any of my pets die, no matter what the species. I admit I'm a bit more impacted when something like one of my birds or mammals dies, mostly because I usually have more interaction with them so the bond is stronger. But even when I lose a cockroach I am quite upset. A while ago my biggest/oldest male hisser tried to shed inbetween the aquarium wall and a log, and he got stuck half out of his exo; he could fit in the space pre-shed, but not post-shed. The exo hardened half crunched in, and he had to have several legs amputated because they were so twisted and deflated from being stuck in the molt. I hand fed him baby food and cared for him for a few months until he passed away. I was pretty upset when he finally went, because I'd spend so much time with him.

Code Monkey
11-08-2007, 11:02 PM
I save my emotion for those animals who have it themselves (not sure how rats wound up such a big part of this thread, comparing dead rats and dead tarantulas is like comparing decapitated babies and a freshly mown lawn). I can't even begin to understand how someone gets emotionally involved in something that can never appreciate nor return a bit of it. It's strictly a one sided relationship that exists nowhere but your imagination.

I might be upset a little bit at how much I paid, or how cool the animal was as part of my collection, but ultimately it's just another cage to clean out and dead bug to throw in the trash. I suppose now I'm more upset at the fact that I won't be able to replace anything that dies since money is so tight since we moved to NY, and even that's just a matter of dealing with what is, not what I wish it was.

Phil Hall
11-09-2007, 04:20 AM
I save my emotion for those animals who have it themselves (not sure how rats wound up such a big part of this thread, comparing dead rats and dead tarantulas is like comparing decapitated babies and a freshly mown lawn). I can't even begin to understand how someone gets emotionally involved in something that can never appreciate nor return a bit of it. It's strictly a one sided relationship that exists nowhere but your imagination.

I might be upset a little bit at how much I paid, or how cool the animal was as part of my collection, but ultimately it's just another cage to clean out and dead bug to throw in the trash. I suppose now I'm more upset at the fact that I won't be able to replace anything that dies since money is so tight since we moved to NY, and even that's just a matter of dealing with what is, not what I wish it was.


Interesting points and it's an example of what makes us all so different !
I had a few ideas to debate with you, but having read some of your very complete 'arguments' previously I realised that I would stand no chance !
:D

RoachGirlRen
11-09-2007, 07:29 AM
I can't even begin to understand how someone gets emotionally involved in something that can never appreciate nor return a bit of it.

People have emotional investments in things like cars, houses, family heirlooms, video game scores, political causes, and a whole bunch of things that can't reciprocate. Not to mention a slew of one sided relationships with things that COULD reciprocate (anyone with a bad ex can vouch for this, rofl). You don't have to be getting love or affection from something to care about it; it simply has to have some kind of value you to. So in the case of a tarantula, you might be getting upset because you loved to observe and handle it, or because you loved the centerpiece its tank was in your home, or because you paid a lot of money for it, or perhaps because you regret having never bred it, etc. Or, simply because it is a living thing and you are sad to see it die. I really don't see what is so outlandish about being sad about something you enjoyed being gone. But, as the poster above said, we all feel different ways and have different opinions. This is not so much an attempt to argue as one to clarify why people might be sad about a tarantula's or other invert pet's passing.

The_Thunderer
11-09-2007, 07:43 AM
People have emotional investments in things like cars, houses, family heirlooms, video game scores, political causes, and a whole bunch of things that can't reciprocate. Not to mention a slew of one sided relationships with things that COULD reciprocate (anyone with a bad ex can vouch for this, rofl). You don't have to be getting love or affection from something to care about it; it simply has to have some kind of value you to. So in the case of a tarantula, you might be getting upset because you loved to observe and handle it, or because you loved the centerpiece its tank was in your home, or because you paid a lot of money for it, or perhaps because you regret having never bred it, etc. Or, simply because it is a living thing and you are sad to see it die. I really don't see what is so outlandish about being sad about something you enjoyed being gone. But, as the poster above said, we all feel different ways and have different opinions. This is not so much an attempt to argue as one to clarify why people might be sad about a tarantula's or other invert pet's passing.


Well said, RoachgirlRen. Completely agree. :)