Festive Tarantula Sing Along!

[greensleeves]

Okay, folks... I suddenly got inspired, but I could only come up with one verse, how about a little help here?

(To the tune of Hark the Herald Angels...)

Hark the Tarantula Board sings
Glory to the newborn slings
Captive hatched, not from the wild
Welcome each new spider child!

Next? =D

Greensleeves

[BBlack]

nice one sleves it never once occured to me to try writting T carols. what fun. =D

Not very creative tho so I doubt I'll be able to help with further verses.

The choir

:o :o :o :o :o
:o :o :o :o

[metzgerzoo]

I would be more than happy to help you out man but I don't remember how that tune goes all the way through and it's easier to rhyme when ya know the tempo!

[Venom]

Joyful all ye keepers rise
Look at my T.blondi's size
With a legspan 1 foot wide:
Theraphosid glorified!

Hark ye spider keepers hear,
fall before my T with fear.

[Joanie]

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Twelve dozen crickets
Eleven water dishes
Ten Kritter Keepers
Nine bags of peat moss
Eight 12 inch forceps
Seven plastic plants
Six frozen mices
Five sheets of cork bark!
Four cases of vials
Three coconut hides
Two soft paintbrushes
And a big box of freshly shipped slings!

[metzgerzoo]

I love it!!!!! And we are a creative bunch to boot...how about that for imagination!?
Ok, how about this:
Slient hide
All webbed tight
Leave me be
Turn off that flashlight
Round and round I go, making my bowl
When I'm done in here I'll let you know
Let me work in peace...
Let me work in peace.

[Joanie]

I am having a hard time finding words that rhyme with "bolus".

[Joanie]

(To the tune of Away in a Manger)

Away in an eggsac,
A soft mushy bed
My white post-embryos,
They sort of look dead
But if you look closer
You'll see a leg twitch
They're small Brachypellllmmmmaaaa
As they grow, I'll itch.

[metzgerzoo]

Originally posted by Joanie
I am having a hard time finding words that rhyme with "bolus".

Lotus, novas or novice, crocus,...you could use word combos like "show us"...that's a tough one for sure:)

[metzgerzoo]

You know Blondi and Curly and Pink toe and King
White knee and Cobalt and bird eatin' T's
But do you recall....the most famous tarant of all?
Brachy the red rump T man, had a very hairy bum
And if you ever saw it, you would surely fall in love
All of the other T men use to laugh and kick their hair
They'd never let poor Red Rump have the crickets they'd all share
Then one humid winter's night, the human came in to say.....
"Brachy, you most beautiful T, I got mealyworms for you today"
Now all the other T men look at Brachy with envy 'cause he'll only share his mealworms with that purdy little flame knee

[BaltimoreBoy]

this is just hurting my head...:confused:

GREENSLEEVES i still dont know whats on your face?????

so many normal people in such a wierd world huh?:?

[metzgerzoo]

Ok, for the sake of scaring the tarantula hating word even more than they already are....how about this one?
To the tune of "Grandma got ran over by a raindeer"

Santa got eaten by my Blondi
Stickin' his hand under the christmas tree
Now you may say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Blondi...we believe
He crawled in the spare room window
'cause we don't have a chim-a-ney
As he slung his bag over his shoulder, he knocked down the tank of T.blondi
She scurried down the hall way, into the family room
Then slipped under the tinsil and on top the new vacuum
Santa got eaten by my Blondi
Placing presents on the floor
I think he tried to get away
But never made it to the door
When I woke on Christmas morning
I found my Blondi fast asleep
She took up half the floor space and I sewar she'd grown about 6 feet
She was snoring like a grizzly, I didn't think they made a noise
I don't know 'bout all these presents, I think some belong to the neighbor's boys
So be forwarned all yee T fiends
And take heed on Christmas Eve
Move your Ts away from windows
And keep an eye on your Blondis

[BaltimoreBoy]

I HOPE YOU GOT SANTAS BOLUS OUT OF YOUR LIVING ROOM BEFORE IT STARTED TO MOLD :D

[metzgerzoo]

Originally posted by BaltimoreBoy
I HOPE YOU GOT SANTAS BOLUS OUT OF YOUR LIVING ROOM BEFORE IT STARTED TO MOLD :D

ROFLMAO Darn, that's what I forgot!!! I guess that explains the funky smell from last year;P

[BaltimoreBoy]

now thats gross!! :8o

[greensleeves]

Wow, you guys are awesome! What a lot of great tunes! (I especially liked "Santa got eaten by my Blondi") =D

Here's another:

Joy to the world!
My slings have come!
The post office didn't drop kick them, or fling!
I have little vials prepared for them
And pinheads for feeding
And pinheads for feeding
And pinheads, and piiiiin-heaaaaads for feeding!

Look at them all!
So cute and small!
There's a brachy, a pinktoe, and more!
But my p. metallica vial is empty!
Did the sling jump to the floor?
Did it jump to the floor?
Did it, did it jump too the floor? :eek:

Nobody move!
My sling is gone!
And it costs more than my car!
If anyone should step on it
I'll hunt you near and far
I'll hunt you near and far
I'll hunt you, I'll hunt you near and faaaaaar!

Look there it is!
It's by the door
It's webbing the mistletoe!
Hey little guy, do you want a kiss?
It's threat posing, so "No"
It's threat posing, so "No"
It's threat posing, threat posing, the answer's "No!"

=D Keep it up, this is great fun!

Greensleeves

[tarantulaman123]

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!=D =D =D =D =D this is funny!!!!=Di am rolling on the carpet! =D

[metzgerzoo]

See what you started greensleeves!!?? Now we're all up late at night with pen and paper, bugging our poor T's for new and inovative ways to completly thrash christmas carols!!!! What a great idea!

[MrFeexit]

Originally posted by Venom
Joyful all ye keepers rise
Look at my T.blondi's size
With a legspan 1 foot wide:
Theraphosid glorified!

Hark ye spider keepers hear,
fall before my T with fear.


A big Santa HO HO HO!!!!

[manville]

good job guys keep them going

[Joanie]

Originally posted by greensleeves
Nobody move!
My sling is gone!
And it costs more than my car!
[/B]

I really liked "Santa Got Eaten by my Blondi", but the above line is absolutely the funniest one so far!!! (It's also the reason I don't have a P. metallica...)
=D

Joanie

[Scylla]

Sung to the tune of "Silent Night"

B smithi, B smithi
If you don’t eat
You will die.
Nice pinhead cricket
Or juuuicy fruit fly.
You’re driving me crazy,
C’mon give em a try.
Sling, you’re driving me nuuu-uuuts,
Sli-ing you’re driving me nuts.

[metzgerzoo]

LOL I like it!!!

[DnKslr]

Ok, ok, let me try!
La~la~la
a Winter Wonderland tune

Don't poke at me
the giant spider,
Threat display
the legs go higher!

I'll put up a fight
might even bite

Gonna flick some urticating hairs!

I don't care
if you're my owner
I'd rather beeeeeee
left a loner

I'm not a dog or a cat
don't pet me like that!

Gonna flick some urticating hairs!


I don't feel like eating any cri~ckets!
rather have a little pinky mouse
And when you open up the lid to feed me
I'll make a great escape into your house!


Later on,
when you find me
all you'll see
is my hiney!
I'll give it a try
to get hairs in your eye!

Gonna flick some urticating hairs!
Oh yeah~!

GONNA...FLICK....SOME....URTICATING.....HAAAAIIIII RRRRSSS!



=D =D :p

[metzgerzoo]

These are too much fun!=D

[greensleeves]

Originally posted by Diane S
Ok, ok, let me try!
La~la~la
a Winter Wonderland tune

OMG! LOL! I nearly spewed my drink! =D

Great!

So much fun guys!

Greensleeves

[Crotalus]

8 legs but no finger
2 fangs but no stinger
8 eyes with poor sight
red knees for your delight

/Lelle

[MrFeexit]

You guys are all nuts!! THese are great!!!

[knottyduke]

Absolutely loved it Diane, great show everyone=D =D =D

[metzgerzoo]

Originally posted by knottyduke
Absolutely loved it Diane, great show everyone=D =D =D
Come on now Hon, dig into that poetic genius, I did a couple, now it's your turn. Write one for Crikey, maybe she won't hate you so much:D

[tarantulaman123]

=D (choke!! choke!!!!)=D

[DnKslr]

Hehehehehe!!! =D
Now I can't get that damn song outta my head! Thought it up while listening to "Walkin round in women's underwear" tune on the radio! LOL!
These are soo much fun! I loved the "Santa got eaten by my Blondi" one! We should put these on a CD!:D =D

[MizM]

I woke up this morning in a really crappy mood,
No tree, no gifts, bunch of leftover food,
Then I happened upon this thread,
Can't get these songs out of my head!
You guys made me smile, you made my day,
Gonna go the the mall and fill my sleigh!

Thanks for making me smile everyone!

[Scylla]

GONNA...FLICK....SOME....URTICATING.....HAAAAIIIII RRRRSSS!


I love this!!! Outstanding! This is destined to be a Christmas classic!

[metzgerzoo]

I sense a new tradition in the works here! ;)

[MizM]

Heck yeah! I'm working on a New Year one!!

[metzgerzoo]

This ought to be good!!!=D

[greensleeves]

GONNA...FLICK....SOME....URTICATING.....HAAAAIIIII RRRRSSS!


I love this!!! Outstanding! This is destined to be a Christmas classic!

I agree. It's almost one year later and I'm still humming that catchy tune, so I thought I'd resurrect this thread and see if we can come up with any more holiday T songs. :)

Greensleeves

[shogun804]

these are funny as hell i could not stop laughing so i figured i would give it a try here goes ...(rudolph the rednose reindeer tune).

B smithi the red knee Tarantula
had a very big hairy butt
he was not afraid to kick hairs
some would even say they itched

all of the Old world Tarantula's
used to try and kick these hairs
but if they ever tried it
they would not do a thing

then one foggy chirstmas eve
santa came to say
B smithi with your butt so hairy
wont you guard these toys tonight

then as he started kicking
all the Old world T's were glad
they new the toys were safe that night
B smithi was the king that
chhhrisstttttmmmmmasssss nnniiigggghhhtttt.

[Decapod73]

{D http://img141.exs.cx/img141/4703/emotdance0bv.gif {D http://img141.exs.cx/img141/4703/emotdance0bv.gif {D http://img141.exs.cx/img141/4703/emotdance0bv.gif

These are fun!

[cdxrd]

(To the tune of Hark the Herald Angels...)

I am blondi, Here me hi-issss,
Do not ev-en try, to pick up this....

If you do so, I will biiiiite,
and then I shall watch you, run from my sight....

Need more.. but cant remember the rest of the tune.. :)

[Scott C.]

(jingle bells)
Old or new? Old or new?
Which world should I take?
Oh how hard
it is to choose.
Barbed bristles, or threat display?
Hey!
Old or new? Old or new?
What difference does it make?
If I buy one,
I can get two!
I'll order from Swift today!
Dashing to the phone
to order a new pokie.
Delivered to my home
Along with my freebie.
Nhandu chromatus,
or maybe Salmon pink?
Doh! Another choice
about which I must think.
Oh well,
Old and new! Old and new!
Hell, what can I say?
My pockets are empty,
but my bills are paid,
and new T-'s a-re o-n th-e w-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Merry Chris-newt-anuck-olstice-yahda-yahda-mas! :p

[MizM]

Well DONE Scott!! I especially like they way you added the "Hey" part!! {D

[nowhereman]

You guys are all nuts!! THese are great!!!

I have to agree! ;P Very good thread. :D This was the highlight of the day. :) A good laugh is always great. I needed it..... :clap:
THANKS !!!! {D

[Sandra]

LMAO, lovin' it! We have some real talent here on these boards! hehe

I was about to shut down for the night, but am glad I took a peek in here first. Fun read! {D

[Vanan]

{D {D {D LMAO! OMG! I dunno how I missed this thread all this time! You guys crack me up! Had both me and my gf singing them out aloud and laughing! Bunch of loonies us arachnophiles! Great stuff guys! I sooo think someone should sing some of these carols onto a CD. There are some winners here! Really creative! Thanks for the laugh guys! :clap: :clap: :worship: :worship:

[greensleeves]

And a new tune for my contibution this year:

God rest ye merry arachnophiles
let nothing you dismay
the price for a p. metallica
is coming down some day
so you won't have to sell your house
to find money to pay
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

:D

Greensleeves

[metzgerzoo]

I love it Scott! :clap:
Now, if you all will excuse me, I need to move my blondi's from in front of the window before midnight tonight. :eek:

[Bark]

Good job all... Pretty funny stuff.

My cheesy entry, (Sang to little drummer boy)


It escaped from me
H mac u lat a
It's fast as can be
H mac u lat a
Oh where does it creep?
H mac u lat a
It will get me in my sleep
H mac u lat a
mac u lat a
mac u lat a

[T 'n T]

(Started this one before Diane's entry, but like a T there's always room for one more {D )

O'er the substrate lies a mantle of white
The female is webbing all through the night
Two Ts were mating, and now we're awaiting
The eggsac... the eggsac

Spiderlings, are you listening?
On the sac webbing's glistening
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Waiting for the hatching of the slings

In the morning build an incubator
And pretend you're a surrogate mom
"Are you embroys yet?" They''ll say "No, man
But give us time it won't be very long!"

Later on we'll perspire
As we vial by the fire
To face unafraid
The plans that we've made
Waiting for the hatching of the slings

[Ice Cold Milk]

ok I just had to : sing this to "Oh Holy Night"

Oh B Smithi! Your colors brightly shining,
It is the night of your penultimate molt.
Long lay on peat and webmat you've been spinning
Til you molted and increased in girth.


Fall on your red knees! Oh, hear your mate is drumming!
Oh dooooooooon't get munched! Just insert and run.
Oh doooon't get munched, just insert, just insert and run.

[xanadu1015]

I laughed so hard that put myself in to an asthma attack lol


My favorites are the ones to the tune of Winter Wonderland and Grandma Got Run Over By Reindeer.

Keep 'em coming guys, this is great...wish I was that creative lol


Laura

[MizM]

I know I will never be able to listen to "The Little Dummer Boy" again without hearing:

H mac u la ta

{D {D {D

[Bark]

I know I will never be able to listen to "The Little Dummer Boy" again without hearing:

H mac u la ta

{D {D {D

I figured I'd ruin a song that nobody likes. ;)

I really didn't think about it before, but when I read the abbreviated T names I pronounce them in my mind like they are written. Like B. Smithi = Bee Smithi...

[xanadu1015]

I'm not going to be able to listen to these songs without thinking about all your creations out there.


Wait til my husband reads this, he just made a crack about if santa doesn't bring anything for our daughter Tori that he'll sick Rusty our T. blondi on him, I about died laughing thinking, "He'll just love the new lyrics" {D




Laura

[xanadu1015]

I was right, he loves them! He about choked on the brownie he was eating lol



Laura

[Sequin]

Oh jeeze guys.... :clap: LMAO.... I could just see the suprised look when the people open the doors and this is what the carollers sing...

[xanadu1015]

Hey we could have an arachnoboard convention during the holidays and have these songs playing lol




Laura

[Tranny47]

Wow, These are amazing. A cd of these songs would make an awsome christmas gift. lol :clap:

[MizM]

I was thinking of "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" and I came up with:

"All I want for Christmas is a T. blondi"... and I GOT one!!!! 8" of gorgeous suede-butt. After an amazing threat display, I saw the palps too, he is a HE!!!
I've changed my tune:

"All I want for Christmas is a SHE blondi" {D

[xanadu1015]

LOL Love the tune {D


lol I got lucky with the one my dad got me, turned out to be a female, and a very pretty one at that.




Laura

[MizM]

Aw Laura! Your dad is AWESOME! If my dad was still here, he would also be buying me Ts for Christmas!!

Well, is yours mature? Would she like to meet a Southern California party guy? {D

[xanadu1015]

I would love to raise some babies... :D




How do I know she's mature though? She's about 7 inches as far as I can tell. I haven't done an accurate measurement.




Laura

[MizM]

I would love to raise some babies... :D

How do I know she's mature though? She's about 7 inches as far as I can tell. I haven't done an accurate measurement.

Laura

Just TRY to get an accurate measurement of a squirmy, flicking blondi!! {D :o ;)

Not sure on the maturity, size doesn't really mean THAT much, some are just smaller than others. The only way I have been able to determine female maturity in the past is to put a male in with the female. If she accepts him, then she's either mature or promiscuous!! :wicked:

[Scylla]

Christmas Day, it's feeding tiiii-iiime
Spiders eat, but I want miiii-ne
I get called away
They'll eat 'nother day
Forgot to close the Grammostola sling

The next day when I check them
I can't believe that there's one missing
I scream and I jeer
the dogs run in fear
Gotta find my Grammostola sling

So I look and search and hope it's not dead
Finally give up and go to bed
I know there's no way I'll ever find it
But I just can't get that sling out of my head

Then one day quite by surpriii-ise
There it was before my ey---eyes
I scooped him up quick
and slam shut the lid
Happy with my Grammostola sling
Hahahappy with my gram mo sto la slinnnng.

[Scylla]

Santa Baby
Leave a cricket under the tree
for me.
I've been a very good T
Santa baby
So maybe leave a wax worm for me.

Santa baby
How about a nice little
pinkey mouse
I haven't gotten loose in
the house
So maybe leave a fuzzy for me.

Think of all I haven't bit
Think of all the hairs that I haven't flicked
So if you leave something juicy for me
You won't find something bitey underneath the tree.

[MizM]

With all the new talent on the boards, I thought I'd revive this thread and see if we can get some new songs!

[MizM]

Wow, it's been two years?:eek: Well, two more years of new talent, so post your favorite hobby related Christmas & New Year song lyrics!