In which I have all the sadness in all the land

Transient

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
67
Right as I'm preparing to order my first T, my mother decided I can't have one in the house. I'm so upset. I have to respect her wishes, obviously, but I find it the tiniest bit unfair since she brings home puppies and kitties for us to foster all the time, often leading to us keeping one or two of them which I dislike immensely. But such is life, after school I'm moving out so what's another four years. :p
I'm thinking of asking her if I can have a millipede or scorpion in the meantime, she seems indifferent to those. Wish me luck!

also this:
 

goodoldneon

Arachnoknight
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 25, 2011
Messages
243
Sorry to hear your mom had a change of heart. I’ve been a T (Mexican Red Knee) owner for a little over three months, and in that time, I’ve been bitten and scratched by our cat (who I adore) on numerous occasions, up to and including blood having been drawn – meanwhile, my sweet little B. smithi hasn’t kicked a single hair or shown even the slightest sign of aggression.

I would be willing to bet that most people who own cats, dogs and tarantulas have had similar experiences. Cats and dogs might win the cute award, but in reality, they’re much more dangerous than a tarantula could ever dream of being - if they dreamn't, which, they don't, cause if they did, they'd probably dream of, like, taking over the planet or something or other. .
 

smoothie4l

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
19
I all ready have a bunch of pets in the house and that is my mothers excuse why I can't have one, I think she has filled her head a little bit too much with the rumours going around of people getting injured by their tarantulas.
 

captmarga

Arachnobaron
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
339
Many years ago, when I was showing dogs for a friend, there was a study done on dog bites. Statistically, one was more likely to be bitten by the family POODLE than any other breed. Those bites (nips and skin breaks both) are less likely to be in the news. Ts unfortunately, always get the bad rap.

Be patient, learn all you can, and just see how things go day to day and month by month. Knowledge and patience are you friend here.

Marga
 

Dogfish

Arachnopeon
Joined
Sep 30, 2011
Messages
21
Hang in there my friend. When i was younger my mom and dad wouldn't even let me have so much as a guinea pig. Now I'm 30 and my mom lives in MY house. She got used to my 4ft ball python and now treats it like it's her cat... she scolds me if she thinks the snake looks hungry lol. She still doesn't like my T's very much, but she's coming around.
 

Transient

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
67
She has horrible arachnophobia (I did once, too) and will scream and run if she sees a spider of any size inside the house. Even backyard harvestman, which she knows are basically like little toothless puppies, make her nervous and she hates when I hold them. She's making steps though, I convince her to look at the tarantulas when we go to pet stores, and the grass spiders I catch in the house.

I don't want to push her though. She's had nightmares about spiders and forcing her accepting them won't help. It took me two years to be okay with just holding harvestmans, but I'm helping her :)

Thank you for the support guys!
 

boxofsorrows

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jul 21, 2011
Messages
32
Well you have to respect your mums rules and wishes while you're under her roof, but that doesn't mean she won't change her mind or relax things a bit. You're quite right not to push the issue and your best chance is to be patient and try to engage her interest over time. If she see's that you are taking so much interest and it's not just a passing thing then she's more likely to start to wonder just what the fascination is - at that point 'hopefully' she'll begin to see a little bit beyond the images of the big scary monster.

My mum has always had a horrible phobia of rats, mice, gerbils, hamsters etc but when I wanted some mice as a kid she eventually saw them as quite "cute", was still terrified of having them in the house, but eventually I had some in my room on the understanding that they never, ever got out.... well one day she walked into the room and two were out and sat on top of the cage, she froze solid in the doorway, the mice looked at her for a moment and dived straight back in the cage! She was NOT happy! However she said "well, at least they didn't run away and get killed by the cat or something - make sure the lid is shut properly in future!!! I think she saw that they weren't at all going to chase her, screaming, all over the house as she'd probably imagined and were just scared of her. She never grew to like them, but from that point never stopped me having pets she herself didn't want near her.
 

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Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
67
I'm setting up tanks just to practice keeping them (regulating heat, humidity etc) which she approves of. She made a deal with me a few weeks ago that if I got rid of a cat she'd let me have Ts but when I cashed my check she told me, "You better not buy a spider with that." Seriously, woman! :mad:

Nah, for all I know I'll ask tomorrow and she'll say fine. She's nutty like that.
 

boxofsorrows

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jul 21, 2011
Messages
32
I'm setting up tanks just to practice keeping them (regulating heat, humidity etc) which she approves of.
Hmm, that bit is interesting and offers some hope...
Anywhere local to you guys that has some "wow" factor looking T's that you might be able to "innocently pass by" with her and stop too look in - something colourful and out in the open but not suddenly bolting when you go near it might get her talking about them as a stepping-stone point for you. Or the other option is nice looking slings, they're not big and scary and unless you mention it then the concept of them getting to be a big spider may be overlooked, if she's then around it as it grows she's chance to develop more acceptance of it, maybe an avic versicolor would spark the "wow, it's blue and fuzzy!" response...
 

Transient

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
67
I want to get something around 1-2", still small but not a sling. She's mostly afraid of it escaping and having to encounter it, although with all the cats I have I doubt it'd make it past my door, let alone into her bedroom haha
 

vickywild

Arachnoknight
Joined
May 29, 2011
Messages
181
You need to compromise, and not getting a T all together isn't compromising-thats her getting her way and you being unhappy.

Why not ask if you can get a sling? Show her a species which isn't overly defensive such as the G.Pulchra and purchase it as a sling so she sees it grow.
 

NickC4

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 16, 2011
Messages
93
I agree with vickywild, slings seem less big and hairy.(although they soon will be) :) when I asked about getting a T my mom seemed pretty cool with the idea but she wanted me to do a ton of reasearch if I was going to get it. That worked out well because I was already going to do that! I had it for about 4 months and my mom is already thinking about handling it after seeing how calm they are. Remember, talk about their molt process and how they regenerate legs. Talk about how many warnings they get before biting. The more she hears how safe and neat they are the more shell have an appreciation for them.
Good luck
 

smoothie4l

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
19
My mother is the same way with my ball python, when she gave me the permission to get the snake she thought she would never get used to it. But now when ever I take it out she pets it and talks to it like a puppy or kitten. (although she is kind of convinced that he doesn't like her because when she tries to pet his head he backs off -.-)
 

Transient

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
67
That sounds like my mom. She can deal with snakes, rats and millipedes, but not spiders. Go figure.
 

JadeWilliamson

Arachnoknight
Joined
Apr 8, 2011
Messages
207
I'm setting up tanks just to practice keeping them (regulating heat, humidity etc) which she approves of. She made a deal with me a few weeks ago that if I got rid of a cat she'd let me have Ts but when I cashed my check she told me, "You better not buy a spider with that." Seriously, woman! :mad:

Nah, for all I know I'll ask tomorrow and she'll say fine. She's nutty like that.
I bought my first G rosea, then my A avic. Those were from a local pet store. When I decided to order a B vagans my mother said I couldn't have more because two was more than plenty in her opinion. The next day I brought it up again and she told me I was crazy and that she'd never say anything that'd stop me from learning something. I was like wtf? I now have 32 Ts and people pretty much act like they're not even there.

My parents finding my secret roach colony is a story for a different thread ;)
 

Dogfish

Arachnopeon
Joined
Sep 30, 2011
Messages
21
My mother is the same way with my ball python, when she gave me the permission to get the snake she thought she would never get used to it. But now when ever I take it out she pets it and talks to it like a puppy or kitten. (although she is kind of convinced that he doesn't like her because when she tries to pet his head he backs off -.-)
Lmao. My mom has named mine Fuzzy. He now only drinks bottled spring water, he has his own humidifier, and I am forced to change his bedding bi-weekly. Damn snake lives better than I do! Oh also if I don't bury his hide "just the way he likes it" then she nags me until I redo it.
 
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