Reptilian Brainfart

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
11,048
Took a stroll down the road early this morning to examine an apparent snake roadkill. It was a beautiful dark bronze color, stretched out next to the verge. Sadly, I picked it up to at least get it off the road.

Ever notice that pre coffee, the human brain can go into overload really really easily? Like 3 or 4 functions is max in my case. So, aside from handling mundane things like standing up and breathing, my brain passes me along the info that the snake looks unharmed and has some rather odd scales for a ratter. As the snake laconically started to coil around my arm and flatten it's hood out my brain had a few more comments. First was, 'good thing you picked it up behind it's head' followed quickly with 'what now, genius?' and 'You need a picture of this!' That was rapidly quashed with the thought 'If your wife sees this tableau you will have less chance of survival than if this critter tags you a dozen times'.

A voice from much too close behind me asks what kind of snake was it. My brain snapped off several dozen gear teeth as it downshifted. I gave the snake a very casual panic struck toss in the direction of the river as I replied 'king cobra'.

She admonished me, 'I didn't get to see it!'.

Errr... 'Um... it was still alive.'

At 4' 11" there was little chance of her tossing me in the river to join the snake. She settled for kicking me which I justly deserved.
 

Formerphobe

Arachnoking
Old Timer
Joined
Feb 27, 2011
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2,336
Whew! I think my heart rate has returned to normal now... I can only imagine what yours was doing! So, I guess in the future you will be having that cup of java before your morning walks?
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
11,048
(having not too far fetched imaginings of wife standing at the door forcing me to down a full pot of coffee before she lets me out)

What really slammed my stupidity home was the experienced snake handlers around here who casually grab Najas and hefty pythons universally refuse to grab a king. Maybe that is just from reputation but I know kings are extraordinarily strong and lithe for their size. I'm still in nervous jitters mode 3 hours later.

What is weird is my wifes typical Thai-hilltribe reaction: better to be pummeled to death at her hands than leave a widow whose ex tried his hand at early morning king wrestling.

What is very strange on my part was my recognition of what the snake was just as it started flattening wasn't size or color or whatever but those two extra plate scales on it's head: 'Huh? That's odd. Oh!'
 
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Najakeeper

Arachnoprince
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
1,050
Very recently a guy in Europe got killed due to a King bite so consider yourself living your 2nd life from now on.

Still, I would love to see a King Cobra while hiking around :).
 
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