Critique needed

[Bean]

Alright folks. I could use some quality control here. I'm always looking to improve my presentations through more quality content. I've composed the following molt sequence.


http://img85.exs.cx/img85/6800/Page1-post.jpg

http://img109.exs.cx/img109/3408/page2post8gk.jpg

http://img109.exs.cx/img109/1694/page3post3xh.jpg

http://img109.exs.cx/img109/8628/page4post9lh.jpg


My subjects are adolecsents who are in trouble with the law for various reasons and to various extents. For most of them, my material is the first in-depth look at tarantulas they've had.

This sequence will be printed out (8x10) and passed around as I teach about molting. It is not meant to be a stand alone tool, but supplementry to my verbiage.

Please consider the following aspects:



Aesthetics. How does it fit together? Does it flow? Is it easy/hard to follow visually?


Captions. What information is interesting to someone being exposed for the first time? What questions would likely be raised? (Assume I'll cover the vocabulary)


Size. How long did it take you to absorb it? I have time limits to work with! My groups range from 12 to 60, and I want all of them to get a chance to see all I have to offer.


Feel free to post or pm any suggestions/feedback!

[delta]

hey,

nothing to add, looks really nice! :clap:

[becca81]

Hey Bean!

I don't see any pictures...
Maybe it's just my school computer?

Anyways, I can tell you from experience that kids this age LOVE stuff about tarantulas. I teach inner-city, and I have a powerpoint I put together about the molting process of our classroom T. The first powerpoint that I did like this wasn't all the well laid out, but the kids still loved it.

Honestly, I wouldn't press too much on the vocabulary. I pointed out the carapace, abdomen, pedipalps, and legs. The process of molting is a foreign idea to them, so keep it very simple at first. Just don't get too technical with them.

However, be warned. Doing what you're going to do is like collecting tarantulas: it's very addictive. :) Working with pre-teens/teens is a wonderful experience.

[eksong]

I'd suggest making the background a little lighter. Some of the moult pics seem to blur with the background image.

Great job though!

[Freddie]

Some "little" pics are a bit "blurry".
And background could really be a bit lighter. They looks now a bit "messy" though in fact they are not that :D
Plus that copyright text over the whole pic makes it a bit... less good.

Me and my opinions LOL

[JPD]

Phenominal should be Phenomenal.
Otherwise, looks great.

[NoS]

I'd suggest making the background a little lighter. Some of the moult pics seem to blur with the background image.

Great job though!

I was going to say the same. Some of the pics are hard to make out. Too much detail.

Besides that they look great.

[Lorgakor]

When I first looked at them, my eye was drawn too much to the background. It is too busy. Do you want people looking at the molt sequence or trying to figure out what they are seeing in the background? I would leave the background plain, maybe a neutral beige or something. The pics themselves are great, and I really like the captions, simple and easy to follow. Very nice!

[Windchaser]

Some "little" pics are a bit "blurry".
And background could really be a bit lighter. They looks now a bit "messy" though in fact they are not that :D
Plus that copyright text over the whole pic makes it a bit... less good.

Me and my opinions LOL

I pretty much agree 100% with Freddie.

The background is distracting. I spent too much time focused on it and not on the pictures of the molt. You want you focus to be on the shots of the molt.

The copyright is extremely distracting. I would definitely remove it. Even if you will post this online, it is a major distraction. I understand your desire to protect your images, but I have never cared for these types of copyrights. It is one thing I find very annoying about Rick West's pictures. Even when you are just looking at them, the copyright notice distracts from the photo. At times, it even obscures vital detail.

Overall though, nice job.

[shogun804]

i agree looks good but hard to make out IMO you should just go with regular pictures instead of using the background but for people who are aware of what is going on its great. but for a beginner or a person who has never seen A molt sequence before it might be hard to make out.

[Bean]

Thank you all who replied! You feedback is much appreciated! :clap:

Here's Revision 1:

http://img196.exs.cx/img196/3527/Page1-rev1post.jpg

http://img193.exs.cx/img193/4568/page2rev1post9ow.jpg

http://img193.exs.cx/img193/1857/page3rev1post8la.jpg

http://img193.exs.cx/img193/6669/page4rev1post1ml.jpg

[becca81]

It looks great, Bean, but the copyright really does get in the way. Is there anyway for you to place the copyright where it won't take away from the picture?

[eksong]

Revision 2 is excellent. The contrast between bg and photos makes everything much more readable.

As mentioned, the copyright must be made less intrusive. Also the bg might be a tad bright (perhaps a beige or ivory hue might help), but it could very well be because I am viewing this on my LCD screen rather than on print.

Excellent descriptions, I might add.

[Bean]

Thanks again for all the feedback! I do apologize for the copyright notice. It will not be on the final print. Most of my best tarantula pictures are posted on this forum, including an abridged version of this sequence, with a less obtrusive copyright tag. This particular piece represents a significant time investment by myself. It gives me piece of mind to place a reminder to those viewing that these images are not public property with a free license attached. That being said, I am always happy to share! If you do non-profit presentations and would like to use this or other content I have created, feel free to pm me for the high resolution originals! Maybe you have content to share as well?