terrible terrible news

Kysnakeguy

Arachnopeon
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
1
Hi, i am really depressed today. Today was he day i was going to get my T but my mom informed me that she could not live with one because of her fear though she had considered it. I am very sad because i have never been so close to covincing her that she has nothing to be afraid of. She is sorry she is afraid but i am beyond devastated because i have been obssessing over this for YEARS. The wort part is telling all of you that i failed even after i made such a big deal of getting one. I may or may not keep my account hear, as good as it is hear it reminds me of what i still can have. Enjoy the spiders you have because some people as lucky to own them:cry:
 

Zoomer428

Arachnosquire
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
94
Ehem...if ur a kid wait till u move out....and as for me my mom doesnt likethem but i still hae one
 

wesker12

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Jun 13, 2011
Messages
404
Get a lowkey dwarf species!
Seriously though I got into T's specifically because I was a arachnophobe, so tell her your trying to get her over her irrational fear.
 

tarantulagirl10

Arachnobaron
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
537
I'm sorry to hear that. You will be an adult one day, on your own, and you can have as many as you want. Spend this time learning as much as you can and by the time you're able to get one, you will be super prepared :)
 

Masurai

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Apr 21, 2007
Messages
311
I agree with tarantulagirl10, someday you will be able to have as many as you want. And you can never know enough about how to care for a future pet.
 

Theist 17

Arachnosquire
Joined
Jan 8, 2012
Messages
50
Sorry to hear about her decision, but kudos to you for respecting your parent's decision. Maybe she'll come around to it in time, but you're doing something more important than spiders right now. You're honoring your mother.
 

EmilyK

Arachnopeon
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
21
[...] tell her your trying to get her over her irrational fear.
As someone with an irrational fear of something (not spiders) I think that this suggestion is pretty unhelpful, and likely to get him in trouble if he tries it out. I can understand being frustrated with the situation, though. I can't have a few reptiles I want because my boyfriend would be uncomfortable with having them in our house. Eventually we might get a place where I can have a room for my animals with a door that locks, and maybe I'll be able to get them then. Until that happens, though, I won't get them becaues I value his feelings more than my wanting something.

Have you offered keeping the T cage in a closet so she doesn't have to see the it when she comes into your room? Have you showed her pictures of cages that have locks on them?
 

BQC123

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
413
I'm sorry to hear that. You will be an adult one day, on your own, and you can have as many as you want. Spend this time learning as much as you can and by the time you're able to get one, you will be super prepared :)
Don't give up. She has obviously considered it. Show some responsibility, and keep working it. It took me many years to keep the animals I love, and in the process I learned everything I could to be a good keeper.
 

wesker12

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Jun 13, 2011
Messages
404
People can get used to anything. In my own personal situation I used a relatively docile and harmless spider to introduce my mother who hates spiders and can not stand them to slowly get used to them. I began with a small .5 inch A.versicolor sling that even she could appreciate (the exquisite blue!) and slowly as she began to get over it, I progressed my collection - mainly with slings at first though that were extraordinarily colorful (gbb/blue fang/ect.).
 

Kysnakeguy

Arachnopeon
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
1
To respond to everyone: when i move out, i will definatly have some ts but having one before would be great, even if my mom has suggested one as a graduation present. My mom aknolages that her fear is irrational and is sorry she has it, i have helped her get over some of it buts its a deep rooted childhood phobia. I dont intend to give up but i still like anyone get mad and sad when told "definatly not" even if you dont take no for a answer. Still, this obsession of having one has taken a toll on me and i was as close as i have ever been to getting one so that kinda irks me :(
 

SamuraiSid

Arachnodemon
Joined
Sep 30, 2010
Messages
758
Your mother is apologetic. In my eyes your already half way to getting her permission!!!!!!

There are literally millions of websites dedicated to disproving all the myths about these evil, people killing, dog attacking monsters. Find one that doesnt have pictures, and get her to read one, or read it with her/ to her.
Second: the bigger and fluffier the T, the cuter and less monsterous it will look. Find pics and show her. My wife and friends only became interested in T's when I came home with the likes of mature P. irmina, H. triseriatus, A. seemanni, C. cyaneopubescens. The truly colourful and striking T's. They arent poopoo brown, so they dont fit the stereotype. It worked for me, and my wife loves the hobby... almost as much as me;) specifically because of the beauty of these named species.

Avoid things like bite reports, the not so colourful T's, and anything arboreal (long legs, might look creepy to arachnophobes. Well maybe not Avics, but avoid Poeci's). Heck, as much as I hate saying it..... take her to an LPS. Go and do recon first, make sure they have a mature beauty on display, and ask her to please just look at it with you. Hopefully you can wrangle an employee into your little scheme, because they will say/ do whatever to make a sale, IME.

dont be pushy, provide the info, but let her get through it at hr leisure. Any attempts at force will only strengthen her resolve.


use every trick in the book to convince her. Get underhanded and sneaky about it, but wait for absolute permission before buying. I have no qualms about saying "be sneaky" because this is an irrational fear, and your mother can only benefit from getting over it with your help;)

Look at it this way, everbody loves a cute kitten. But when that thing grows up and starts leaving rotting carcasses on your doorstep its a different story. Sell the kitten, not the cat... if you catch my drift.

Hope this helps your enthusiasm.
 
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Kysnakeguy

Arachnopeon
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
1
Thank you, today she gave me a ray of hope by saying (if tis ever comes up again, we need to comunicate better" btw my dad did not communicate with her this well enough even though i made my intentions clear
 

BQC123

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
413
Just a thought. Mine are all kept in a heated outbuilding just for the animals. Do you have someplace already, not in the house, that she may consider allowing you to keep it? Not practical unless it is already there, and suitable to use. Be careful with a garage though, too many fumes.
 

Kysnakeguy

Arachnopeon
Joined
Apr 30, 2012
Messages
1
No outbuilding, though i have ways to put it in my room so that it is hidden from normal view but not covered or in a closet
 

BQC123

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
413
Seriously, don't do it. It will be found. You then loose the trust and responsibility. It's their hose, respect their rules. From the sound of things, it's just a matter of time. In the mean time, work on the grades, and help out around the house. Show her you will do whatever it takes to get her permission. Make a deal if that"s what it takes. If it's any help, have her contact me, or any of the sensible posters that will alow it. No promises, but sometimes the extra assurance from another adult can make a difference.
 

Thomas2015

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jan 26, 2012
Messages
34
Had the same problem when I was a kid (not sure if I ever really grew up though). Something I would suggest is: if you can't have a tarantula, why not try something similar, such as a vinegaroon or an emperor scorpion? They are not the "dreaded spiders" to ratchet up your parent's fear, and at the same time they provide what I would consider very valuable experience with invertebrates. It also gives your parents some time to get acclimated with something that's similar . . . and then maybe after a few months or so, then they'll look into a tarantula. The biggest thing here is trust: be mature and make sure to work with them rather than around them. And remember that one of the biggest virtues, if not THE biggest virtue in tarantula keeping is patience. Give it time . . . you'll have a t soon.
 
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