Harassment for being in this hobby??? Tell your story

Obtomid

Arachnopeon
Joined
May 13, 2014
Messages
10
I've definitely been treated since i got into this hobby, but i think its totally unfair. People would think i was weird for having tarantulas, plus girls would think i'm some disgusting freak, has anyone else experienced this bull<:poop:>?
 
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scorpio948

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jan 6, 2014
Messages
49
Pretty sure we all do to some degree. But it helps weed out those who aren't worth our time.
 

Obtomid

Arachnopeon
Joined
May 13, 2014
Messages
10
hell yea, I totally agree, <edit>, we are living out our lives, and if people are going to sit and complain about how biases and prejudice are wrong, then they better include us in that "people"
 
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fomor

Arachnopeon
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
14
It can be frustrating when I mention my tarantula and I just get that look in response. I try to only mention it to people whose company I enjoy for this very reason and most I've met have been mildly inquisitive about tarantula lifestyle. I've never been met with abuse or called weird for it. Not to my face at least.
I often have to remind myself of the fact that everything about this hobby is way outside of a lot of peoples comfort zone.
I find my favourite approach when mentioning my T to new people is to casually make it clear that you're willing to chat about the topic then move on with the conversation. If they're curious they can ask, if not it doesn't matter, if they shut down on you and regard you as some sort of freak then as scorpio948 said, they aren't worth your time.
 

xirxes

Arachnosquire
Old Timer
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
105
I have heard reference to reptile and tarantula keepers as "freaks" regularly, most recently on a popular morning radio show here, but I've always said that if ya' can't let your freak flag fly, I don't want to know ya'!

It is simply a classic case of ignorance fueled disparagement.
 

dredrickt

Arachnoknight
Joined
Jan 27, 2014
Messages
170
There is definitely a stigma, but I couldn't care less. The only thing hypocritical about that statement is I don't clue girls in about it until I absolutely have to, and even then I downplay it as "I keep a few spiders for my nieces and nephews to look at because they like it." If any of them were to actually go in my T room though, its more than just a few, lol.
 

Beary Strange

Arachnodemon
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
670
I'm used to harassment for external things that people have no right to judge me for (hurr hurr, it's not Halloween-yeah, never heard that before dip), but I've actually not suffered too much verbal abuse as a result of being in the hobby. I hear "you're crazy" fairly often but it's not usually meant in a mean manner. Except once. I was rescuing my 4th G.porteri from my regular Petco and we have come to be known by the staff there. Well, we're up at the front checking out and this manager who has always come off to me as a bit judgey and insincere asked how many tarantulas we were up to. I told her over 70 (this was prior to having to sell some) and her eyes bugged out, then rolled and she said "Wow. You know I think you're crazy". Normally I don't think anything of this but there was something in her tone and facial expression that wasn't joking, that clearly meant that was meant to be rude. I tried to brush it off and remarked that they don't exactly take up a lot of room so one can have many without issue and she had this tight-lipped 'don't talk to me' expression. It was very off-putting, we actually haven't been back since.
 

elliotulysses

Arachnosquire
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
85
I have heard reference to reptile and tarantula keepers as "freaks" regularly, most recently on a popular morning radio show here, but I've always said that if ya' can't let your freak flag fly, I don't want to know ya'!

It is simply a classic case of ignorance fueled disparagement.
this!!! +10000
Everyone already knows I'm "quirky" and do odd things. Heck, I have lavender hair ATM and piercings. Most chalk it up to me being an art student, but I just think I have good taste!
Idk if I ever had a bad reaction, at least to my face. And all my friends like my babes ;)

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awiec

Arachnoprince
Joined
Feb 13, 2014
Messages
1,325
I don't think people have ever been mean to me because I have tarantulas. Sure some say they couldn't keep them but spiders are out of the comfort zone of many people so I can understand. People are generally like well good for you or they ask what do I do with them; once I compare them to fish then they seem to understand why I have them. Many of my friends and family were not surprised that I started keeping Ts as they said it kinda fits my personality and are polite and will ask me questions about them. Perhaps I don't get out that much or the people at my university are pretty tolerant but I've never ran into issues. Even the people at pet shops are always interested about what I keep (usually the cricket wranglers). So perhaps I have been lucky and I do look like a little kid so people don't wanna be mean to a cute girl.
 

Beary Strange

Arachnodemon
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
670
I don't think people have ever been mean to me because I have tarantulas. Sure some say they couldn't keep them but spiders are out of the comfort zone of many people so I can understand. People are generally like well good for you or they ask what do I do with them; once I compare them to fish then they seem to understand why I have them. Many of my friends and family were not surprised that I started keeping Ts as they said it kinda fits my personality and are polite and will ask me questions about them. Perhaps I don't get out that much or the people at my university are pretty tolerant but I've never ran into issues. Even the people at pet shops are always interested about what I keep (usually the cricket wranglers). So perhaps I have been lucky and I do look like a little kid so people don't wanna be mean to a cute girl.
That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
11,046
I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.

Bottom line: get over it. Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you. Ask your detractor if their parents met at a family reunion. Extend your sympathy on their mental condition(ing). Tell them to tell their parents condoms will solve a lot of the problems in the world, as they exemplify. And of course, never hesitate to tell them where they can kiss what.
 
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dementedlullaby

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 8, 2014
Messages
300
I'm married so I don't have to worry about chicks lol. But if someone doesn't want to like me because I like spiders that's their problem. They are the ones missing out. Generally speaking I like to think (irl at least lol) I'm a fairly well liked person (and gorgeous /guy hair flip). Sure there's always that one idiot but that's life and the faster you accept that the happier you'll be :).

If you're a teenager you'll be surprised how fast life changes once you're out of high school. I was the "freaky dude" in high school as far as looks are concerned lol. I actually changed high schools because I was being harassed. The alternative high school I went to I fit in much better at. In college my style worked quite well to my advantage ;). You'll look back at these times and laugh. Keep your chin up and stand up for what you believe in always.
 

awiec

Arachnoprince
Joined
Feb 13, 2014
Messages
1,325
I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.

Bottom line: get over it. Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you.
I was bullied for just being me when I was a kid and it would make them more angry when I did not bend. I've been shunned by the entire school beat up multiple times and spit on until high school. Eventually people left me alone and the same people who tried to break me admired me for not doing so, it certainly was a little strange. Not much bothers me anymore and people have a hard time getting me upset as I just have a constant sunny disposition to the point where its sickening. People have done much worse to me, saying "ew" about my tarantulas is extremely trifle and insignificant.

That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.
I usually say I get them to do tricks and I can get my P.muticus to "sing" (though I've never upset it enough to get it to stridulate and hope I never will).
 

elliotulysses

Arachnosquire
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
85
I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.

Bottom line: get over it. Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you. Ask your detractor if their parents met at a family reunion. Extend your sympathy on their mental condition(ing). Tell them to tell their parents condoms will solve a lot of the problems in the world, as they exemplify. And of course, never hesitate to tell them where they can kiss what.
you are amazing! arachnorolemodel 4 sure

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Yentlequible

Arachnoknight
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
150
That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.
You don't juggle them? My current record is 4 at once, and it's always a tense moment when the ornata gets back down to my hand.
 

Tivia

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Messages
45
That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.
I'm going to have to remember this on for when I get asked what I do with them. ;)

I've not run into anyone being rude about me keeping tarantulas, but I am new to the hobby. I don't ever hesitate to tell people either. Let them think what they may. I know I enjoy them and that's all that matters in the end. If someone has a problem with it, it's not my problem, it's theirs.

If someone is downright rude, then that will certainly irritate me and I'll deal with it at the time. I've run into rude people making comments about my dog and they usually will get a not so nice response. Insulting my kids is about the only thing that will bring out the bitch in me because is just so unnecessary. Too many people these days lack common etiquette.
 

Tivia

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Messages
45
I guess I should have said "kids". I don't have any human children. My pets are my kids. Sorry for the confusion. :)
 

dementedlullaby

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 8, 2014
Messages
300
Have people seriously done that?!
You'd be surprised. My vice principal in my first high school straight up insulted my brother to my father. My brother used to rock a 'hawk and wear tartan pants. The guy would give my dad a hard time and call us degenerates because of the way "he let us dress". He said why do you let your son wear pajamas to school? The guy was a grade a....yeah! That school was awful lol. As soon as I left my grades shot up and I actually skipped a year of Math.

Granted this was about 14 years ago. My wife and I have no immediate plans for children so no idea how things are now with raising kids.
 

Beary Strange

Arachnodemon
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
670
You don't juggle them? My current record is 4 at once, and it's always a tense moment when the ornata gets back down to my hand.
Sadly I can't juggle. But maybe I can pick up some singing P.muticus like awiec and start a choir? :D

---------- Post added 06-27-2014 at 09:05 PM ----------

You'd be surprised. My vice principal in my first high school straight up insulted my brother to my father. My brother used to rock a 'hawk and wear tartan pants. The guy would give my dad a hard time and call us degenerates because of the way "he let us dress". He said why do you let your son wear pajamas to school? The guy was a grade a....yeah! That school was awful lol. As soon as I left my grades shot up and I actually skipped a year of Math.

Granted this was about 14 years ago. My wife and I have no immediate plans for children so no idea how things are now with raising kids.
Ew. People can be so awful. At my highschool they (the "security" dress code enforcement people) used to pick on the punks and tried to say a friend of mine couldn't wear short pants because "capris are for girls". Wut? o-o
 
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