Really bad Chritsmas carols

Tim Benzedrine

Prankster Possum
Old Timer
Joined
Apr 4, 2004
Messages
1,496
Hey, it isn't easy adapting a tarantula theme to Christmas carols, you know! So these are especially bad. I'll leave it to you to decide what which carols they are to be sang to. :D

Hair, the parahybana flings,
Getting onto everything
On my skin and in my eyes,
Up my nose to my surprise,

Itching scratching everywhere,
Caused by urticating hairs,
Hairs my parahybana flings,
Getting onto everything!

Deck the cage with boughs of webbing,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
My interest in this spider is quickly ebbing,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
So much silk I cannot see him, Fa-la-la,Fa-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Think I’ll give him to a museum!
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

Oh OBT, Oh, OBT,
How quick you are to bite me!
Oh OBT, Oh OBT,
You are as quick as lightning

Oh OBT, Oh OBT,
You always want, to envenomate me

Oh, OBT, Oh OBT
How quick you are to bite me me!


It’s beginning to look a lot like mouting,
For all my Ts at home,
Their butts are shiny-black, their crickets they won’t attack,
Soon they’ll flip over on their loam!

Yes, it’s beginning look a lot like moulting,
and I know that with out fail,
No matter how I pray,
For things to go my way,
The suckers will end up being mature males!


Oh little sling in terrarium,
How still we see thee lie,
Are you now dead or just well-fed?
Was your substrate way too dry?

The pet shop sign said B. Smithi,
So I just had to buy,
I took it home and set it up,
An then began to cry,
For when I took a closer look,
I was mortified,
To see it was G. rosea,
-I’d bought a pet rock!-
My B smithi was G. rosea, what a crock!
 

IHeartTs

Arachnobaron
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
435
Jingle bells, crickets smell
My pokie laid some eggs
I pulled the sac, she then attacked
I'm in the hospital for the day, hey!


Had to try it lol

---------- Post added 12-21-2014 at 12:36 AM ----------

Never heard of that one
I'm sure you've heard it. It's pretty popular.
 

Sana

Arachnoprince
Joined
Oct 26, 2014
Messages
1,139
This thread actually kind of made my day. I'm having all kinds of stress tonight since my family celebrates on the solstice, but picturing the looks of horror on certain faces when I sing a T carol has made it all better.
 

IHeartTs

Arachnobaron
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
435
I was dying when I read them too. I wanna see a mr grinch or frosty the snow man T style.
 

PanzoN88

Arachnodemon
Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
713
Considering i have never heard the first one, these sound perfect compared to if they were to be translated in spanish.
 

IHeartTs

Arachnobaron
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
435
That would be correct. Look, I said up front they were BAD. Yours is pretty good, though.
Yours are hilarious lol. I was dying.

Ghosty the h mac was a very angry T
With a really fast strike it would attack it's molts
And chase grown men out of their homes

Ghosty the h mac is a demon some would say
Could beat a pokie in a race and bite the heck out of your face
He will come for you one day

There must have been some steroids in that one cricket I fed
For when he took it in his mouth he jumped right at my head

Ghosty the h mac was a very angry T
With a really fast strike it would attack it's molts
And chase grown men out of their homes
 

MrsHaas

Arachnoangel
Old Timer
Joined
Nov 1, 2012
Messages
875
Hey, it isn't easy adapting a tarantula theme to Christmas carols, you know! So these are especially bad. I'll leave it to you to decide what which carols they are to be sang to. :D

Hair, the parahybana flings,
Getting onto everything
On my skin and in my eyes,
Up my nose to my surprise,

Itching scratching everywhere,
Caused by urticating hairs,
Hairs my parahybana flings,
Getting onto everything!

Deck the cage with boughs of webbing,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
My interest in this spider is quickly ebbing,
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
So much silk I cannot see him, Fa-la-la,Fa-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Think I’ll give him to a museum!
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

Oh OBT, Oh, OBT,
How quick you are to bite me!
Oh OBT, Oh OBT,
You are as quick as lightning

Oh OBT, Oh OBT,
You always want, to envenomate me

Oh, OBT, Oh OBT
How quick you are to bite me me!


It’s beginning to look a lot like mouting,
For all my Ts at home,
Their butts are shiny-black, their crickets they won’t attack,
Soon they’ll flip over on their loam!

Yes, it’s beginning look a lot like moulting,
and I know that with out fail,
No matter how I pray,
For things to go my way,
The suckers will end up being mature males!


Oh little sling in terrarium,
How still we see thee lie,
Are you now dead or just well-fed?
Was your substrate way too dry?

The pet shop sign said B. Smithi,
So I just had to buy,
I took it home and set it up,
An then began to cry,
For when I took a closer look,
I was mortified,
To see it was G. rosea,
-I’d bought a pet rock!-
My B smithi was G. rosea, what a crock!
I told you you should write an adult children's song book u really got a knack for this
 

TsunamiSpike

Arachnosquire
Joined
Nov 8, 2012
Messages
86
Having started to come down with a cold 2 days before Xmas and grumpy...this just made my day.
 

FrancesP

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jan 20, 2014
Messages
9
There was a great one floating around the boards a loooong time ago to the little drummer boy. All I remember was the chorus...

He'll get me in my sleep H mac-u-la-ta, mac-u-la-ta....
I'd love to get the rest of it if anyone has it.
Funny.
 

Tim Benzedrine

Prankster Possum
Old Timer
Joined
Apr 4, 2004
Messages
1,496
Well, I'm glad my silly thread served a purpose! :) That is to say, gave some cheer.
 
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