I still haven't gotten over the death of my tarantula!

aenigmatica8 · May 25, 2015

I haven't been on this site in a while, but I'm so tired of missing my girl like crazy. I raised her from "infancy," and I lost her a couple of years ago. I would cuddle her every day. I haven't been able to bury any of my tarantulas, actually. They're just sitting in little boxes on my desk. Sometimes I still cry, and I will often think of her or see old photos and just be unable to accept that she's not with me anymore. I feel like a part of me died when she did. Can anyone relate? I don't know how to move on.

Blue Jaye · May 25, 2015

I've had a few pass that I really enjoyed and still have displayed but I found the best thing to do is get another T that's been on your wish list and you might find the feelings for your past Ts will turn into joy and excitement for the new one . Sorry for your loss and hope that helps a little .

DVMT · May 25, 2015

This is the short straw with any pets really.....the shorter life span. I've never found it easy to deal with a loss, but I have found some comfort in knowing that I gave my best to the animal while it was in my care and it lived a full and happy life with me. I'm sorry for your loss. I also agree with Blue Jaye, getting a new one does help.

14pokies · May 25, 2015

This may sound heartless but but Ts don't ever grow to love their owners... Jump back on the horse and buy some more Ts...

I lost a huge parahybana that( I) had a huge emotional attatchment to and whenever I buy a T I think of her so as long as I'm keeping Ts she is still with me..

Loss is hard but loss and gain is life... The only constant in our existence is change...

I hope you feel better and get back into the hobby.....

cold blood · May 25, 2015

aenigmatica8 said:
I would cuddle her every day.

Whaaaa? Maybe a hamster or a dog would be a suitable replacement. T's are most definitely not for "cuddling" with.

---------- Post added 05-25-2015 at 10:39 AM ----------

If you want another t, just get one, they are neither expensive, nor difficult to find and buy.:?

FireSpider · May 25, 2015

I'm really curious how one goes about cuddling a tarantula. Not that I intend to try it, but I'd still like to know, lol.

14pokies said:
This may sound heartless but but Ts don't ever grow to love their owners...

This is surely true, but it doesn't keep humans from loving their Ts, silly squishy mammals that we are. They can have very distinctive personalities and behaviors, which can make a well-loved T hard to replace. I still miss my old curly hair. She had the most adorably weird way of sitting and would actually tap the glass with her front legs to get my attention when she was hungry. If a tarantula can be called 'friendly' she was it. I had her for eight years and there was never a single kicked hair or attack posture. But I have to agree with others in the thread that the solution is more tarantulas. My current crop of rose hairs have their own awesome behaviors, and I'm getting more curly hairs next month. Moving on is what you have to do in life.

aenigmatica8 · May 25, 2015

Thank you everyone for your replies!!!

It's awesome to know that there's a whole community here that can appreciate tarantulas and other arachnids like I do! I'm certainly looking forward to getting another T when I move! :biggrin: I've been in a dorm room for too long. It's probably like getting over a relationship- It's good to meet other people instead of wallowing in grief about the old one lol. As for cuddling, yeahhh, I know it's not too good to handle Ts too much but she was such a sweetie! She was a Pink Zebra Beauty (extremely docile). One time I even brought her to class under my shirt heheh. I love hearing stories about peoples' Ts behaving in ways that would suggest a higher level of consciousness. I like to think that they were a little fond of me. Regardless, I felt really affectionate and attached to them.

:love:

Blue Jaye · May 25, 2015

Please remember when handling Ts especially things like under the shirt , your body temp is 98 degrees and under clothes can be even warmer that's just too warm for a T and it could die that way or be easily broken . Ts don't do well over 90 and for some even 80 can be too warm at times . My PZB is very defensive but pretty .

aenigmatica8 said:
It's awesome to know that there's a whole community here that can appreciate tarantulas and other arachnids like I do! I'm certainly looking forward to getting another T when I move! :biggrin: I've been in a dorm room for too long. It's probably like getting over a relationship- It's good to meet other people instead of wallowing in grief about the old one lol. As for cuddling, yeahhh, I know it's not too good to handle Ts too much but she was such a sweetie! She was a Pink Zebra Beauty (extremely docile). One time I even brought her to class under my shirt heheh. I love hearing stories about peoples' Ts behaving in ways that would suggest a higher level of consciousness. I like to think that they were a little fond of me. Regardless, I felt really affectionate and attached to them.

:love:

---------- Post added 05-25-2015 at 01:45 PM ----------

cold blood said:
Whaaaa? Maybe a hamster or a dog would be a suitable replacement. T's are most definitely not for "cuddling" with.

---------- Post added 05-25-2015 at 10:39 AM ----------

If you want another t, just get one, they are neither expensive, nor difficult to find and buy.:?

I don't necessarily agree with handling but geesh Cold Blood quick slap in the face anyone . Wether you agree or not this post was about loss please bring your heart back CB I have always enjoyed your posts and did not expect such a callous response .

Misty Day · May 25, 2015

aenigmatica8 said:
she was such a sweetie! She was a Pink Zebra Beauty (extremely docile). One time I even brought her to class under my shirt heheh.
:love:

I'm not trying to be insensitive, but as Cold Blood said, if you want an animal to cuddle with please look elsewhere. Tarantulas are not docile, some are just simply tolerant of being manipulated (I see handling as manipulation, as the spider does not enjoy it whatsoever). Doesn't matter how "docile" the spider acts, it still always has the potential to bite, even if you've had it since a sling.

Most of the time tarantulas don't bite when being handled is because they're afraid or don't want to draw attention to themselves. They see every moving this as two things only: Prey or Predator. In the case of handling, they're always gonna see you as a predator. How they react to that depends on the spider.

DVirginiana · May 25, 2015

I don't mean to sound insensitive and I'm sorry for your loss but T's aren't capable of having any emotional attachment to you, and 'cuddling' them or carrying them around under your clothes is dangerous for both you and the T. If you get another T I would really recommend just enjoying watching it in the enclosure rather than handling like that, as that will eventually end badly no matter how docile the T is.

Ellenantula · May 25, 2015

I would recommend getting another one -- but not if you plan on handling it. As others have stated -- they don't get the same warm-fuzzies from the holding experience as you obviously did. At worst, Ts must assume you're going to kill them when you pick them up; at best it's probably just confusing and disorienting for them.

Tim Benzedrine · May 25, 2015

I can sort of relate. To the loss part, anyway, I'm one of the no handling brigade. Try to look at it this way. You raised the spider, and it made it to its life expectancy. I can tell you from experience that that is better than the alternative. This past winter, I lost my G. rosea of 12 years and while it was a bit of a bummer, I could accept it. I later had a more devastating loss. Other losses, before they go past their prime, are much worse. You question everything you might have done, and wonder if you should keep on going. But as I found out rather quickly, it is best to jump back into the saddle and then question yourself so that if you DID make an error, you will have learned from it, rather than let the learning experience go to waste.

TsunamiSpike · May 25, 2015

Blue Jaye said:
Please remember when handling Ts especially things like under the shirt , your body temp is 98 degrees and under clothes can be even warmer that's just too warm for a T and it could die that way or be easily broken

Agreed, but aren't you missing the big point...y'know the whole taking a tarantula to class part? Not to mention not in any enclosure.

Anyway...yeah don't think for a second that tarantulas will ever reciprocate the fondness you may have for them. Simple science and lacking a brain prevents that. Best way to get over it is buy more...providing you're not planning anymore reckless stunts like the above you mentioned.

aenigmatica8 · May 27, 2015

I do know that it's best to not handle Ts, but if I never interacted with them, I would have missed most of the reason I got them in the first place- As pets! If they ever became defensive or scared, I would put them back in their cages. Anywho, I look forward to getting more in the future, and learning from past mistakes with them!

TsunamiSpike · May 28, 2015

That's the thing with tarantulas, they're more like goldfish. Interaction with Ts should be kept to a minimum, feeding and rehousing at most. There's a lot of enjoyment to be had with Ts without the handling.

Misty Day · May 28, 2015

aenigmatica8 said:
I do know that it's best to not handle Ts, but if I never interacted with them, I would have missed most of the reason I got them in the first place- As pets! !

That's the thing though. You only get them so you can handle/interact with them. They're an observation pet only. Which is great because they're always up to something, such as digging burrows or moving waterdishes. You wouldn't handle a goldfish so why would you handle a tarantula? They don't like it, simple as. You can't tell if they're scared or not, just because they don't bite, doesn't mean they're automatically "docile".

Ultum4Spiderz · May 28, 2015

aenigmatica8 said:
I haven't been on this site in a while, but I'm so tired of missing my girl like crazy. I raised her from "infancy," and I lost her a couple of years ago. I would cuddle her every day. I haven't been able to bury any of my tarantulas, actually. They're just sitting in little boxes on my desk. Sometimes I still cry, and I will often think of her or see old photos and just be unable to accept that she's not with me anymore. I feel like a part of me died when she did. Can anyone relate? I don't know how to move on.

Yeah I miss all my Ts who died,. This is typically of spider/Animal lovers.

---------- Post added 05-28-2015 at 01:09 PM ----------

Misty Day said:
That's the thing though. You only get them so you can handle/interact with them. They're an observation pet only. Which is great because they're always up to something, such as digging burrows or moving waterdishes. You wouldn't handle a goldfish so why would you handle a tarantula? They don't like it, simple as. You can't tell if they're scared or not, just because they don't bite, doesn't mean they're automatically "docile".

+1 Display pets for sure.!!!:laugh: I am against handling of Ts. You could become allergic like me, I used to handle some species now I cant.
I cannot handle Ts I am Alergic to hairs from keeping them for over 10 yrs.

I still haven't gotten over the death of my tarantula!

aenigmatica8

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