Mental Case - Closet Fetish

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
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Aug 8, 2005
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So there is this medium sized Huntsman trying to get under the closet door.

I complimented myself on my superb woodworking craftsmanship... good enuff, close enuff and dumb luck... in the construction of the closet with the doors so closely fitted geckos couldn't get in. Hey! I'm using high quality Thai made tools! A cross cut saw that cuts in circles, always left, a small pile of screw drivers with round bits ... after 30 seconds of driving a screw, a claw hammer, the tool of choice by the better mechanics all over the country (the concrete floor being their preferred workbench), and instantly rusting stainless steel screws. What could go wrong?

The spider had it's head under the door but couldn't progress any farther. A series of ineffectual attempts to catch or cup the little smortz later, head still embedded under the door, I gave up and waited for the better half of my life and expert spider catcher to come home. I rounded up the cats and locked them up on the upstairs porch in case the spider took to roaming.

Several hours later little Ms. Lightning fingers comes home. I interrupt her chat with the dog and the hole in the yard - she's very sociable - lead her to the closet and introduce her to the spider who still has it's head stuck under the door. In a few seconds she has deftly and oh so gently picked it up and is talking to it instead: Aren't you a cutey? Did you want to go play in our clothes? Etc. Gooey stuff that tends to make my brain cringe. I came to my senses just as she was about to turn the spider loose on the porch. Two incensed cats make an immediate appearance around her legs demanding to see what she is holding. So we pack the spider down and turn it loose in the carport.

The next day I happened by chance to note the same spider, or it's twin, has come in under the carport door, which is fitted just good enough in the doorway to prevent the jeep from crawling under it. I shoo it back out and somehow manage to keep the cats from going out after it.

Another hour later there is the spider on the wall of the stair case. I gave up. Who am I to question the fates of it's destiny? I lock the cats up again. Over a period of a couple of hours I note the spider has been making slow but credible headway up to the second floor landing. And there I lost track of it.

The boss pulls up late in the afternoon inviting me to go to the market with her. That is very sweet of her. I have the choice of supervising what she buys or possibly ending up with rat soup and a side of larvae for dinner. Go get a clean shirt and...

I call down to her that I don't have a shirt to wear as I can't open the closet door and I just did the laundry which is all wet and drippy in the house since the cats would no doubt get back in from the porch if I tried taking the clothes rack out and would she please come rescue the spider again? Yup, there it was, head stuck under the closet door.
 

Beary Strange

Arachnodemon
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
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670
Well, stop being a jerk and let him in the closet already.

(I also baby talk spiders. It's a sickness. ._. )
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
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If he is anything like our auxiliary cat it will just stick it's head under the other side of the door waiting to be let out. Repeat. Repeat.
 

Malhavoc's

Arachnoking
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Do huntsmen usually have a territory, has that ever been looked into? I know that jumpers usually find their way back to their normal home. Could it be this huntsman grew up in the closet, and couldn't take the social standards of being out of the closest and has since been trying to dig his way back in?
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
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Do huntsmen usually have a territory, has that ever been looked into? I know that jumpers usually find their way back to their normal home. Could it be this huntsman grew up in the closet, and couldn't take the social standards of being out of the closest and has since been trying to dig his way back in?
Allow me to rephrase your question: "Is it possible you didn't notice several hundred little sparassid sporkers running amok all over your closet and bedroom?"
 
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Malhavoc's

Arachnoking
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Ha; Perhaps your closet is not a closet at al, but some sort of whovian interdimensional home for the new sparassid weeping angels, remember, they only move if you blink!
 

sdsnybny

Arachnogeek
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Maybe he is following "The scent of a Woman" name him D. Hoffman.....
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
Old Timer
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Messages
11,044
Ha; Perhaps your closet is not a closet at al, but some sort of whovian interdimensional home for the new sparassid weeping angels, remember, they only move if you blink!
I'll keep that in mind if in the middle of the night I hear the faint voice 'must ... phone ... home'
And of course sell my closet design for a fantastic amount of $$$$
 
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