Cat meows - Suggestions sought

The Snark · Feb 3, 2014

Trivia: Cats don't make meow sounds through their mouths but through their noses. Try it yourself.
To put the problem into proportion. The cat doesn't meow when taking naps. It doesn't meow for up to 5 minutes while cuddling in your arms... until you try to get one of those razor sharp hooked appliances out of your anatomy. It doesn't meow too much when it's head is in the dogs mouth. That about sums it up. The rest of the time, about 14 hours a day, it's making meow sounds. From soft plaintive curiously poking around looking for trouble to 'I saw a bird outside!' mega raucous chorused back fence sex fest serenades -> meeeeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWYOOOWWWWWs. Unrelenting. Unstopping and unstoppable. Constant. Continuous. Oh, it does pause the meows when sitting on your lap. A moment of rigidity and a few seconds of silence as she cranks out an olfactory mind numbing rancid rotten fish fart.
There is absolutely nothing it this fiends itinerary that does not include this feline commentary. Right now I hear the dog has started ignoring the cat by the short abrupt meows. Those are the demands for the white hot spot light I want to be entertained NOW meows. Not quite plaintive ones. The truly plaintive meows are reserved for when she is going poop. The going pee meows are completely different.

In case the reader hasn't come up to speed yet, this person is close to going round the bleeding pipe from the meowing. Let it out or the meows become positively thunderous when trying to get to sleep. If outside, they take on a shrill tenor that easily penetrates the brick and concrete walls. Lock it downstairs it uses the bathroom as an echo chamber and acoustic amplification device. Let it roam upstairs it complains bitterly that there aren't any more geckos to eat.

And, as mentioned, cats meow out their noses. Taping it's mouth shut won't help. So, before I encase it's head in a hermetically sealed object, an operation that I think would lend itself well to the use of epoxy putty, does anybody have some suggestion as to how to get a cat to quiet down? Anyone? ANYTHING!

Biollantefan54 · Feb 3, 2014

There is always one thing you could do....get rid of it? That is the *only* option.

jthorntonwillis · Feb 3, 2014

Tranquilizers in the food dish.....:evil:

RzezniksRunAway · Feb 3, 2014

Cats are SO needy. I've tried headphones, but our loudest, neediest cat will actually bite the back of my head in an attempt to get me to pay attention to him. I wonder if a feedback machine could be made, cancelling out the cat noises as they happen. Probably not, but it's nice to dream.

Spepper · Feb 3, 2014

I have three cats. Each have their own "level" of meowing they do in a day. One rarely meows unless he gets picked up one too many times, one meows if she was sleeping nicely and you move her (or for treats) and one meows just to get your attention whether it's for petting or for being let in at night. The only way to get a meowing cat to stop is to give it what it wants (being let in, given petting, being left alone etc.) But it sounds to me like your cat is especially demanding and giving her all she wants would be exhausting. My point is that each cat is unique.

Tongue Flicker · Feb 4, 2014

When we were kids, my cousin and i once theorized that the purring sound from the body of a cat could be used as a self-generating battery lol

The Snark · Feb 4, 2014

Abuse that cat!

So far the votes are, a few horse tranquilizers in it's food (it refuses a water dish, preferring the toilet), purchasing and permanently wearing noise cancelling headphones, giving it an endless supply of fish, about 7 per hour, around 14 hours a day, and a catapult in the back yard to send it across the river. These don't sound like super viable options.

So on to cat abuse. We take a smallish plastic bag with handles and place it over the cats head, forelegs through the handles, and it stops meowing until it manages to get out of the bag. SERIOUS NARSTY CAT ABUSE, right? Dead wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. When it finally frees itself from the bag, it backs off, regroups, and sticks it's head back in the bag. So far this is the only thing that diverts her attention from meowing. Unfortunately, she destroys a bag every 15 minutes or so. Then starts meowing even louder for another one.

The Snark · Feb 4, 2014

On a more serious note. The cat is about 10 months old. We had hopes this was just growing up stages. However, it just keeps getting worse. And louder. When she was in season the noise she made was positively raucous obnoxious. She quieted down slightly after that but in the past two weeks the noise is continuously at that level. Last night we tried to cuddle and pamper her into some degree of calm and quiet. She was having none of it and sat at the end of the bed meowing away when we tried to go to sleep. Ignoring her only made it much worse as she roamed the headboard, bellowing in our ears. Consigned to the upstairs porch she made 10 second bursts of noise every 5 minutes or so until finally falling asleep. The moment she heard me wake up this morning she was off again. Yesterday she ate 3 days of food and destroyed about 10 plastic bags as well as 2 rubber play toys. Her demand for attention-entertainment and her needs appears to be insatiable. Even the dog is now shunning her.

Is there any therapy? Any way of placating her? Will she grow out of this eventually? Or if this is hopeless, could someone field suggestions as to what would be an ideal new home for her where her noise would be an asset? BTW, we have renamed her The Banshee.

Anonymity82 · Feb 4, 2014

I'm guessing she's not fixed.

A cat meows from the innards of its evil not its nose ;D FYI. Whatever its problem is there is one thing for sure. It wants you dead. It's probably hoping the meowing will cause you to run out of the house and jump into the nearest tree grinder.

In all seriousness fixing her may calm her down a bit. The meowing probably has something to do with higher anxiety levels for one reason or another. I'm sure she has no idea what her problem is but is aware that your presence is a nice break from the normal anxiety. At least for the short term can you think about getting some type of cat anti-anxiety for her? Some type of sedative? Who knows, maybe she's just bored.

Maybe a kitty thunder shirt?

Maybe you can build cat walks all through your house.

Micrathena · Feb 4, 2014

jthorntonwillis said:
Tranquilizers in the food dish.....:evil:

Arsenic in the food dish.

ClosetCollector · Feb 5, 2014

We got our loud scream meowing cat another cat to entertain it......the meowing ceased until the new cat started to meow. This may sound horrible but I Yell at the meowing cat, CAT NO! Then squirt it with a squirt bottle, the meowing usually stops, or it at least goes off to meow in another part of the house. I've done it so many times all I have to do is say cat,and reach for the bottle and it runs off to find better things to do.

The Snark · Feb 5, 2014

ClosetCollector said:
We got our loud scream meowing cat another cat to entertain it......the meowing ceased until the new cat started to meow. This may sound horrible but I Yell at the meowing cat, CAT NO! Then squirt it with a squirt bottle, the meowing usually stops, or it at least goes off to meow in another part of the house. I've done it so many times all I have to do is say cat,and reach for the bottle and it runs off to find better things to do.

I've been doing something similar. When I get close to small furry animalcide I crank up the vacuum. The cat heads for the other end of the house (or will get a thorough cleaning) and while vacuuming I can't hear the meows. It's only a small respite before it is back and serenading but we are slowly converting our house to a clean room Intel's chip factory would envy.

pitbulllady · Feb 5, 2014

If the cat has not been spayed( I don't like to use the word "fixed" since it implies that an animal with all its organs intact is "broken" or defective), then she is probably in heat. Cats, unlike dogs, come into heat every 21 days and remain in for several days at a stretch if they do not get pregnant. One of the ways that female cats announce their condition is with loud, almost continuous vocalizing. There's also another situation in play here, that surgery will not rectify: you are in Thailand. That means that there is probably a high percentage of Siamese/Oriental cat genes in your cat, and anyone who has ever lived with a Siamese cat or a part-Siamese will tell you that these cats absolutely LOVE the sound of their own voices and assume that everyone and everything else within a 50 mile radius loves to hear them as well. I have had purebred Siamese, and now have a part-Siamese black smoke, and he meows almost continuously. The only time that he's quiet, that he does not have something to add to EVERY conversation, is when he's asleep, or when he is up to something absolutely rotten, like stealing my USB drives to chew. I actually kinda worry when he's quiet, if I can't see him sleeping on the bed or couch, because it usually means he's destroying something. My other cat, though, a domestic longhair, almost never meows. I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard him meow. He is very laid-back, never messes with things that he should not mess with, doesn't steal or jump on cabinets, etc. and doesn't chew like a four-legged Piranha. They are like two separate species, seriously, my two cats. My father has two spayed female cats that are identical twins, hard to tell apart by looking at them, but their behavior and personalities are polar opposites. One, the friendliest, is almost as vocal as my part-Siamese, but has a much softer and less-intrusive voice. The other is skittish and paranoid, but seldom makes a sound. It's really hard to say why one cat meows a lot while another doesn't, but I do know that the Oriental breeds are well-known for that trait.

pitbulllady

ClosetCollector · Feb 5, 2014

The Snark said:
I've been doing something similar. When I get close to small furry animalcide I crank up the vacuum. The cat heads for the other end of the house (or will get a thorough cleaning) and while vacuuming I can't hear the meows. It's only a small respite before it is back and serenading but we are slowly converting our house to a clean room Intel's chip factory would envy.

I envy the fact that the vacuum sends your cat to another part of the house!! We have also been cleaning our home ferociously, out with the old, moving furniture reorganizing every orifice of our home all that great stuff... It needs to happen every so often, and I have a case of cabin fever so terrible I am going insane.. Anyhow, when I start cleaning every animal and child in the home lines up to impede the process, the cats chase the broom/mop and run through dirt piles, the dog tries to drink the mop water and any surface that I clean with a clorox wipe!:sarcasm:

Then out comes the vacuum, that is an event that should be seen by all! The dog gets all fired up and starts racing around the house barking then returning to assault the vacuum, the cats get involved leaping from furniture to window sill and so on following it around the room, the boy is racing around yelling about how its so loud while trying to avoid being run down by animals. Cleaning at my house is truly a sight to behold, me followed by several critters and a small boy all with our own agenda, I often wonder how I manage.

As for the original post I would have to agree with getting the cat spayed/neutered, possibly consider getting another cat for a playmate and making sure your cat has things to do... a cat tree, toys maybe one of those laser mouses that scoots around on the floor for your kitty to chase. I watch this show called my cat from hell, LOL and this guy fixes disgruntled cats, it always seems the issue is that the cat is bored, needs more interaction/play and cat stuff to do...Good luck, hopefully the meowing ceases, if all else fails and the above abuses outlined in prior postings do not work you could always tape its nose shut!! LOL

Anonymity82 · Feb 5, 2014

pitbulllady said:
If the cat has not been spayed( I don't like to use the word "fixed" since it implies that an animal with all its organs intact is "broken" or defective), then she is probably in heat. Cats, unlike dogs, come into heat every 21 days and remain in for several days at a stretch if they do not get pregnant. One of the ways that female cats announce their condition is with loud, almost continuous vocalizing. There's also another situation in play here, that surgery will not rectify: you are in Thailand. That means that there is probably a high percentage of Siamese/Oriental cat genes in your cat, and anyone who has ever lived with a Siamese cat or a part-Siamese will tell you that these cats absolutely LOVE the sound of their own voices and assume that everyone and everything else within a 50 mile radius loves to hear them as well. I have had purebred Siamese, and now have a part-Siamese black smoke, and he meows almost continuously. The only time that he's quiet, that he does not have something to add to EVERY conversation, is when he's asleep, or when he is up to something absolutely rotten, like stealing my USB drives to chew. I actually kinda worry when he's quiet, if I can't see him sleeping on the bed or couch, because it usually means he's destroying something. My other cat, though, a domestic longhair, almost never meows. I can count on one hand the number of times I've heard him meow. He is very laid-back, never messes with things that he should not mess with, doesn't steal or jump on cabinets, etc. and doesn't chew like a four-legged Piranha. They are like two separate species, seriously, my two cats. My father has two spayed female cats that are identical twins, hard to tell apart by looking at them, but their behavior and personalities are polar opposites. One, the friendliest, is almost as vocal as my part-Siamese, but has a much softer and less-intrusive voice. The other is skittish and paranoid, but seldom makes a sound. It's really hard to say why one cat meows a lot while another doesn't, but I do know that the Oriental breeds are well-known for that trait.

pitbulllady

I used fixed because when you get them fixed (your average house cat or dog) I feel you're fixing a potential problem. Not that spay and neuter aren't fine words. I feel that cats and dogs aren't offended by words like "fix" either so I don't spend too much time putting their feelings into consideration

The Snark · Feb 5, 2014

Smunch sound of forehead striking keyboard and an expletive voiced that rhymes with clucking bell

She was in season for a week about 5 days ago and appears to be in season again as of last night. False heats notwithstanding. Cost of modifying (no, we aren't -fixing- her and the word spay finds it's origin in a sword, espee, or to be cut by a sword back in the days when the yeehaws found maiming female anatomy humorous) is roughly twice that of a human's stint in a hospital for a similar length of time.

Try as I might to seem like a vicious heartless animal torturer I fail my reputation at times. According to my quaint manual of operation, animals are to be held in situ whenever possible. The removal of a part of an animals anatomy to simply make life more tranquil for a homo erectus goes against the grain. The choice of upgrading a computer, the long overdue painting of several rooms in the house or modifying the cat is presently the subject of debate here. I also am taking into account the bitter resentment I will inevitably harbor towards the cat while having to labor away on what appears to be a primitive steam powered typing machine while staring at patchwork plastered walls.

And then there is the possibility that, as PBL pointed out, genetic programming may override everything. And Murphy's law. Let's not forget that as it and Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle firmly runs and rules our lives.

Still looking for options and maybe a new home for the beast.

Anonymity82 · Feb 6, 2014

Old folks home. They'll love her. They'll sleep right through her constant meowing!

The Snark · Feb 6, 2014

njnolan1 said:
Old folks home. They'll love her. They'll sleep right through her constant meowing!

That is a really good idea but has one minor flaw. This is the third world. No such thing as old folks homes. Only the refined and sophisticated first world abandon the elderly to that pseudo incarceration. Here in primitive land it's a serious rude insult to the entire family to not care for the aged. But still, we are going to check out the retirees around here. seems like some lonely person would like a reasonably well mannered if noisy companion.

Anonymity82 · Feb 6, 2014

The Snark said:
That is a really good idea but has one minor flaw. This is the third world. No such thing as old folks homes. Only the refined and sophisticated first world abandon the elderly to that pseudo incarceration. Here in primitive land it's a serious rude insult to the entire family to not care for the aged. But still, we are going to check out the retirees around here. seems like some lonely person would like a reasonably well mannered if noisy companion.

Ahem, I will ignore that extremely rude comment and wish you luck in your search for a home.

pitbulllady · Feb 6, 2014

njnolan1 said:
Ahem, I will ignore that extremely rude comment and wish you luck in your search for a home.

Rude?? The only one being rude here is YOU! You're assuming that everyone lives in the US, first of all, even though Snark has repeatedly stated that he lives in THAILAND, not to mention it says so in his profile. You were the one who made the snide comment about giving the cat to an "old folks home" because "they'd sleep right through her constant meowing", did you not? That's not only assuming that such a thing exists in Thailand, thus thumbing your nose at their culture which actually reveres the elderly and does not consider them disposable and inconvenient, AND assuming that all elderly people are deaf and do nothing but sleep all the time. Personally I thought that the Snark was very restrained in his response to that suggestion.

pitbulllady

Cat meows - Suggestions sought

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